A Necessary Annoyance
Progress always creates friction. The question isn’t whether you irritate others, but whether you do so with purpose and intention.
Two phrases have been sitting with me lately. One is new. One I have walked with for years. Both are deeply uncomfortable for most people. And both separate the pack.
If you run from them, you are likely a follower.
If you embrace them, you are likely a leader (or on your way to becoming one).
No shade. No shame. Both roles matter in the grand ecosystem of meaningful work. But this space exists to challenge and strengthen those who feel the tug of leadership on their lives, so let’s take a thoughtful dive into these two related ideas.
Jordan Harbinger recently wrote, “If you want to achieve anything in life, you are gonna have to be a little annoying.”
That line hit me harder than I expected. I do not know how I ended up on Jordan’s distribution list, but his article broke through.
Boiling it down, his point is simple: The masses worship the status quo. Achievement disrupts it.
Ipso facto, the leader with vision becomes the rub in the system.
As soon as I read it, a mentor's leadership theorem that has shaped me for years rose immediately to the surface:
“Leadership is the art of disappointing people at a rate they can absorb.”
Not disappointing for disappointing’s sake.
Not provoking irritation out of ego.
Not pushing your ideas because you enjoy being right.
But disappointing people in the way sand irritates an oyster. Productively, purposefully, moving and developing toward something better.
Still… “annoying,” “irritating,” and “disappointing” are words most leaders avoid in polite company. They do not fit cleanly into HR manuals or culture decks.
But Jesus himself modeled a leadership style that disrupted comfort, confronted drift, and refused to coddle unhealthy patterns.
He was gentle, but not soft. Compassionate, but not complacent. Loving, but never passive.
And he was, most definitely, on mission.
Sometimes calling people upward feels like irritation. It just does.
What if, instead of spinning nicer language around that reality, we choose to own it?
What if we allow the bluntness of these terms to reframe our expectations as a leader?
What if naming the tension for what it is strengthens the resilience required to move people and missions forward?
Because if we as leaders want to make a difference in the work we do, we must be willing to be misunderstood for a while.
When we challenge assumptions, protect the culture, set new standards, or lead through necessary change…
Someone will feel the friction.
Someone will resist.
Someone will grumble.
Someone will accuse you of being “annoying.”
And sometimes – they are right.
Leadership involves creating the kind of short-term discomfort that makes long-term flourishing possible.
It is stewardship, not stubbornness.
It is courage, not combativeness.
It is the holy tension between honoring people and moving people.
So…to the executive leader who wrestles with the weight of difficult decisions, who absorbs criticism for doing what is right rather than what is easy, who feels the emotional cost of carrying others through change (even other leaders!)…
Take heart. You are not failing when your leadership irritates the system.
You are leading.
You are safeguarding a mission.
You are protecting a culture.
You are calling people to their best, even when they prefer comfort.
You are doing the work that separates leaders from the pack.
When your choices unsettle the room, when your standards stretch your team, when your convictions create temporary tension, remember – this is the price of meaningful progress.
And it is a price that leaders are uniquely called to bear.
Keep leading with strength and grace.
Keep stewarding the responsibility God has entrusted to you.
Keep walking with the courage to create necessary discomfort for the sake of something better.
We need you.
Blessings to you, my friends!
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation:
"Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change"
- Tod Bolsinger
What type of leadership is needed in a moment that demands adaptive change?
In Tempered Resilience, Tod Bolsinger deftly examines both the external challenges we face and the internal resistance that holds us back.
Bolsinger writes: "To temper describes the process of heating, holding, hammering, cooling, and reheating that adds stress to raw iron until it becomes a glistening knife blade or chisel tip." When reflection and relationships are combined into a life of deliberate practice, leaders become both stronger and more flexible. As a result, resilient leaders are able to offer greater wisdom and skill to those they serve, focusing on a vision that is beyond the profit, success, or even survival of the organization―one that is focused on the needs of real people.
In Tempered Resilience, Bolsinger walks through the six-step process of how tempered leaders are formed:
Working: Leaders are formed in leading.
Heating: Strength is forged in self-reflection.
Holding: Vulnerable leadership requires relational security.
Hammering: Stress makes a leader.
Hewing: Resilience takes practice.
Tempering: Resilience comes through a rhythm of leading and not leading.
If you're facing resistance to the changes you know are necessary for your organization to thrive in this rapidly changing world, Tempered Resilience will give you the tools you need to remain steadfast through change and lead with strength of purpose.
MMS 25-49
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