The Edge of Influence
As leaders, we all face moments when unfiltered honesty feels justified, even righteous.
Our minds are always working on something…
But the impulse to engage outside of the lane(s) God has called us to serve can be one of the most dangerous temptations we encounter.
I felt that impulse over the long Thanksgiving weekend. More than once.
A barrage of thoughts, frustrations, and opinions rushed to the surface, and it took real effort to restrain them. It was an unusual internal pressure, the kind that made me feel strangely willing to say whatever came to mind, regardless of consequence.
Social media did not help.
Politics. Government. Cultural tension. Hot-button debates. Basketball officiating controversies. Family dynamics. Even the weather seemed to provoke unnecessary temptation to react.
Too much downtime, maybe?
For reasons I still cannot pinpoint, I was primed for tense engagement. It was as if I had reached a point of not caring who disagreed, who pushed back, or who might be wounded by my words.
But therein lies the problem.
The moment a leader stops caring about the consequences of their words is the moment they step onto dangerous ground.
As I opened my Bible this morning for my daily reading (today I was in Proverbs 13 – 15), I was confronted with Scripture that could not be more clear about this.
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, but those who speak rashly will come to ruin. – Proverbs 13:3
It is sobering. And it is true. The tongue does not just communicate. It builds, shapes, blesses, or breaks.
Our role as a leader multiplies that impact.
Our words carry weight not because we are more important than others, but because our influence touches people who look to us for direction, stability, and clarity.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – Proverbs 15:1
A leader who forgets this quickly finds themselves reacting instead of leading.
Some people take pride in “saying what they think.”
They call it honesty.
They call it authenticity.
They call it courage.
But in truth, it is often immaturity dressed in boldness.
Wisdom requires something else.
The more authority a leader carries, the more disciplined the tongue must become. It’s not censorship. It’s stewardship.
Leaders are not free agents of opinion.
We are stewards of influence.
And that means our words, even in moments of frustration or fatigue (or down time), must serve a higher purpose.
The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. – Proverbs 15:28
Wisdom and maturity encourage us to pause long enough to consider the impact of our words – before we speak or write them.
And then to sweep them swiftly aside if need be.
Yes, there are days when silence feels suffocating. Days when responding feels justified. Days when the tongue feels the dent of restraint.
But the call remains the same.
We build.
We instruct.
We serve.
We help.
We make the world better, not louder.
And one of the most powerful tools God has entrusted to us in that mission is also one of the most dangerous if left unattended.
Our tongue.
Blessings to you, my friends!
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation:
"The Road to Character"
- David Brooks
With the wisdom, humor, curiosity, and sharp insights that have brought millions of readers to his New York Times column and his previous bestsellers, David Brooks has consistently illuminated our daily lives in surprising and original ways. In The Social Animal, he explored the neuroscience of human connection and how we can flourish together. Now, in The Road to Character, he focuses on the deeper values that should inform our lives.
Looking to some of the world’s greatest thinkers and inspiring leaders, Brooks explores how, through internal struggle and a sense of their own limitations, they have built a strong inner character. Labor activist Frances Perkins understood the need to suppress parts of herself so that she could be an instrument in a larger cause. Dwight Eisenhower organized his life not around impulsive self-expression but considered self-restraint. Dorothy Day, a devout Catholic convert and champion of the poor, learned as a young woman the vocabulary of simplicity and surrender. Civil rights pioneers A. Philip Randolph and Bayard Rustin learned reticence and the logic of self-discipline, the need to distrust oneself even while waging a noble crusade.
Blending psychology, politics, spirituality, and confessional, The Road to Character provides an opportunity for us to rethink our priorities, and strive to build rich inner lives marked by humility and moral depth.
“Joy,” David Brooks writes, “is a byproduct experienced by people who are aiming for something else. But it comes.”
MMS 25-48
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