AvA - It’s a Fine Line
The difference between a leader people follow and one they merely tolerate often comes down to a single internal posture.
There are a lot of tensions in leadership. This is a big one.
I learned a long time ago there is a critical difference between a tension and a problem.
A problem must be solved.
A tension must be managed.
When we confuse the two, frustration and failure are not far behind. Try to solve a tension, and frustration compounds. Try to manage a problem, and you will fail.
Today’s tension: Arrogance versus Agency in the spirit of the leader.
Most leaders within the sound of my voice, at least those with any growing level of self-awareness, do not aspire to be arrogant. We understand. It sounds bad. It feels bad. It leaves a wake of strained relationships and diminished trust.
Unfortunately, arrogance can produce short-term results. Decisions get made. Direction gets set. Movement happens.
But it is a costly trade.
Short-term gain in exchange for long-term relational bankruptcy is rarely a wise investment.
At the same time, organizations do not excel under passive leaders. They need strong ones. Leaders who are willing to step into complexity, make hard calls, and carry responsibility when the pressure rises.
Leadership requires strength. But the wrong kind of strength can quietly erode everything you are trying to build.
That is the tension.
On one side sits arrogance. On the other sits something far more powerful, and far less discussed.
Agency.
At its core, agency is a leader’s internal capacity to take ownership of reality and responsibility for outcomes. It is the belief that “I am responsible for what happens next,” combined with the willingness to act on that belief.
A leader with agency does not wait to be rescued. They do not outsource responsibility. They do not hide behind circumstances or consensus.
At the same time, they do not operate in isolation.
A developed sense of agency produces both confidence and humility. It allows a leader to invite perspective, listen well, and engage others in meaningful dialogue – while still owning the weight of the final decision.
They are open, but not indecisive.
Convicted, but not closed.
Strong, but not overbearing.
That balance does not happen by accident. It is developed.
Below are a few things purpose-driven leaders can do to strengthen their agency while guarding against the drift toward arrogance:
Anchor Identity in Responsibility, Not Superiority
Arrogance is rooted in comparison. Agency is rooted in responsibility.
The arrogant leader believes they are better.
The agentic leader believes they are accountable.
When your internal narrative shifts from “I must prove myself” to “I am responsible for what I steward,” your posture changes. You begin to lead with ownership rather than ego.
To whom much is given, much will be required.
– Luke 12:48
Build the Discipline of Seeking Input Without Surrendering Ownership
Leaders with agency actively pursue perspective. They ask questions. They invite challenge. They listen for what they might be missing. But they do not abdicate decision-making.
Arrogance refuses input.
Passivity hides behind it.
Agency engages it, then acts.
This requires both humility and courage – two traits that rarely coexist without intentional development.
Separate Confidence from Certainty
Arrogant leaders project certainty, even when it is unwarranted. They feel the need to appear right. Leaders with agency operate from confidence, not certainty.
Confidence says, “Based on what we know, this is the best path forward.” Certainty says, “There is no other path.”
One invites learning. The other shuts it down. In complex environments, confidence will carry you much further than certainty ever could.
Create Feedback Loops That Tell You the Truth
Arrogance thrives in environments where truth is filtered. Agency requires exposure to reality.
This means intentionally building relationships and systems where honest feedback is not only welcomed but expected.
Not flattery. Not surface-level affirmation. Truth.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted.
– Proverbs 27:6
Leaders who consistently hear the truth are far less likely to drift into arrogance.
Practice Decisive Action Paired with Reflective Learning
Agency shows up in action. Leaders with agency make decisions. They move forward. They do not remain stuck in analysis or fear of being wrong.
But they also look back. They evaluate outcomes. They own mistakes. They adjust.
Arrogance resists reflection because it threatens the image of being right. Agency embraces reflection because it strengthens future decisions.
Hold Power with an Open Hand
Arrogance clings to power. Agency stewards it.
When leaders begin to see their authority as something entrusted rather than something earned or deserved, their posture shifts.
They become less controlling and more empowering. Less protective and more developmental.
The goal is not to prove authority, but to use it well
Stay Grounded in a Bigger Purpose
Arrogance narrows focus to self. Agency expands it to mission.
Purpose-driven leaders continually reconnect to something beyond their own success – something that serves others, builds value, and reflects deeper conviction.
When the mission is clear, ego has less room to grow.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.
– Philippians 2:3
The tension between agency and arrogance does not go away. It is not something to solve. It is something to steward well.
And like most leadership tensions, it reveals itself most clearly under pressure.
In those moments, your internal posture will determine whether people experience your leadership as strength – or as something they simply learn to tolerate.
May you and I choose wisely.
Blessings to you, my friends!
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation:
"The Prideful Soul's Guide to Humility"
- Thomas Jones & Michael Fontenot
From Amazon: Emphasizing how pride can damage relationships, this practical and inspirational book provides advice on how to demonstrate humility and build a relationship with God. The biblical definition of pride is explored and examples of true humility in Jesus found throughout the New Testament are given. Discussed are the ways in which humility releases individuals into their true selves and transforms relationships. Suggestions are included for learning to practice humility regardless of the situation.
Reader Review: “Working for a character-based company can, at times, be very humbling. Imagine being told by your boss that you need to start working on your humility! This revelation sent me in search of further help - both in understanding humility as a whole and what it means, as well as how to incorporate it into my daily living…”
MMS 26-17
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