On Your Watch
There are moments in leadership when you cannot fix the outcome. In these moments, the opportunity lies in your response.
I was really looking forward to my first basketball officiating camp of the summer. They moved it up a week this year. No problem. Adjust and go.
So I packed up, made the trip, even came down a few hours early to connect with a friend and former client. Our dinner fell through at the last minute. Not ideal, but it happens.
Then came Saturday morning.
Our team of officials gathered at 7:00 a.m. expecting two full days of games, development, and camaraderie. Instead, we got the news.
Wrong weekend.
The entire tournament was scheduled for the following week. And just like that… It was over before it started.
For me, it meant a bit of a financial hit (non-recoverable travel expenses), lost time, and a missed development opportunity. For 15 – 20 others, the same.
But for the officiating coordinator? Something heavier.
Responsibility.
The oversight was not entirely his fault; he acted on the dates the event coordinator provided. But it was fully within his lane. And that's where stuff like this gets real.
There are moments in leadership when things fall apart on your watch. Not because of negligence. Not because of poor intent. Sometimes not even because of your direct action.
But it still lands on you.
In those moments, you often cannot fix the outcome. The time is gone. The money is spent. The opportunity has passed. What remain is your response.
And that response carries far more weight than most leaders realize. Because in moments like these, your team is not just watching what you do. They are deciding – even if subconsciously – what kind of leader you are.
It is easy to default to frustration. To vent. To deflect blame. To spiral internally or externally. If we’re honest, most leaders will feel that pull immediately.
But the leaders who grow trust in moments like these choose a different path.
They regulate before they react.
They slow down before they speak.
They lead themselves first.
Because emotional intelligence is not tested in calm conditions. It is forged in disruptions like this one.
If you find yourself in a moment where it has fallen apart on your watch, here are a few ways to lead well when it matters most:
Pause before you project
Your first reaction is rarely your best response. Give yourself space to process before you communicate. A few moments of restraint can prevent a ripple effect of unnecessary damage.
Own what is yours – without carrying that which is not
Strong leaders take responsibility, even when the situation is complex. But wise leaders do not absorb misplaced blame. There is a difference between ownership and self-destruction.
Acknowledge the impact on others
People aren’t necessarily looking for perfect solutions. They need to feel seen. Recognizing the inconvenience, frustration, or loss others experienced builds connection in the middle of disappointment.
Communicate with clarity and composure
In chaotic moments, people look for steadiness. You do not need perfect answers. But you do need a calm, thoughtful presence that reassures others that leadership is still intact.
Look for the hidden opportunity
This is where great leaders separate themselves. Not by ignoring the problem, but by asking, “What can be built here?” Trust, humility, credibility, and culture are often strengthened in moments that initially feel like setbacks.
In situations like this, trust is not lost as quickly as we fear. But it is shaped. And there is an opportunity for it to be strengthened – not in the absence of mistakes, but in the presence of integrity, humility, and emotional control.
If I had the opportunity to coach the leader in this situation, that is exactly where I would focus.
Because this was not just a scheduling error. It was a leadership moment. And handled well, it could become a defining one.
As leaders, we are entrusted with more than outcomes. We are entrusted with people. Their time. Their trust. Their experience.
And while we cannot prevent every breakdown, we can always choose how we show up when things fall apart.
Blessings to you, my friends!
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation(s):
"Perspective"
- J.B. Kellog
“Sometimes when something really bad happens to us, we think you ourselves, ‘this is the worst thing that could have happened to me.’ But in reality, what if it’s the best thing that could have happened to you?”
(This is a video I like to share with leaders who appreciate the extreme value of being able to reframe any situation – particularly the challenging ones.)
"When Breath Becomes Air"
- Michael Easter
From Amazon: At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a naïve medical student “possessed,” as he wrote, “by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life” into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.
Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all. “I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything,” he wrote. “Seven words from Samuel Beckett began to repeat in my head: ‘I can’t go on. I’ll go on.’” When Breath Becomes Air is an unforgettable, life-affirming reflection on the challenge of facing death and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a brilliant writer who became both.
MMS 26-16
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