Gear Vs. Game
There is nothing wrong with good gear. I like good gear – probably more than I should. But good gear has a strange ability to make us feel a little better than we actually are.
When I played baseball as a kid, we shared bats. Today, I routinely see Little Leaguers carrying more money in equipment than our high school’s annual team budget!
Baseball was my sport growing up. We played on fields that weren’t exactly major-league caliber. Sometimes the outfield needed mowing. We never had grass in the infield – a few weeds, maybe. The lines were hand-drawn and not particularly straight. Dugouts ranged from basic to barely there.
And bats? The team had three or four. We had to wait for the coach to bring the “bat bag”, and we shared them.
Today I see kids walking into Little League stadiums looking like miniature MLB players.
Immaculate fields. Premium uniform. Flat-bill cap positioned just right. Oakley sunglasses. Eye black. Batting gloves. Sliding glove. And the backpack, usually with a couple of very expensive bats sticking out of the top like antennae, cleats hanging on the tips.
None of those things is bad. I would have loved having some of it when I was ten.
But you know me. I can’t help but wonder what happens when the gear starts getting ahead of the game.
To be fair, this isn’t about the kids. Most ten-year-olds are not ordering $600 bats and premium uniforms for themselves. Adults have built much of this environment around them.
And if we are willing to look at ourselves, adults have our own versions of “premium gear.”
The office. The title. The car. The clothes. The watch. The website. The technology. The credentials after our name. The size of the company we lead. Maybe the number of people who report to us.
Again, none of those things is inherently wrong. I have spent good money on things I enjoy using. I appreciate quality. I like good tools. I like things that work well.
The problem begins when the “gear” starts telling us something about ourselves that isn’t true.
A great bat can make you look like a baseball player. But it can’t help you recognize (and hit) a curveball.
A title can make you look like a leader. But it can’t give you judgment.
A beautiful office can communicate success. But it can’t give you character.
There is a subtle danger here for successful leaders because – eventually – some of that outward evidence (gear) does begin to accumulate.
You did earn the promotion, build the business, become the CxO. People do seek your opinion. You have produced results.
At some point, it becomes very easy for legitimate accomplishment to quietly turn into an inflated view of ourselves.
You know, the whole “ego” thing we have to worry about?
Ego is a little more complicated than arrogance.
We tend to picture the egotistical leader as the loud person in the room who has to dominate every conversation. Sometimes that’s what it looks like.
But most times it’s much quieter.
It’s the assumption that my success in one area makes me more qualified in another. It’s becoming less curious because I have already been around a while. It’s needing people to recognize my position. It’s becoming defensive when someone challenges my ideas. It’s subtly believing the rules are a little different for me.
It’s enjoying the symbols of leadership so much that I stop paying attention to whether I’m still growing as a leader.
That last one… Ouch.
It’s tough for us to say this out loud, but it’s true. The gear can improve while the game steadily gets worse.
Paul had something to say about this.
Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment… – Romans 12:3
Sober judgment.
I like that phrase. It gives us insight into the fleeting nature of humility.
Humility isn’t about pretending that you’re less capable than you are. It’s not denying your accomplishments or refusing nice things.
It is not about making yourself smaller so everyone else feels more comfortable.
Humility is seeing yourself accurately – with sober judgement.
You know what you’re good at. You know where you’re weak.
You can receive praise without needing it. You can hear criticism without immediately defending yourself.
You can sit with people who know more than you do and learn from them. You can enjoy what you have without needing it to establish who you are.
And you can keep working on your game.
Has any of your gear gotten ahead of your game?
It’s likely nobody else would notice. Ego doesn’t necessarily show itself publicly. Sometimes it’s simply the story we’ve started telling ourselves.
And those stories are dangerous for any leader to entertain because once we become convinced of our own importance, it gets much harder to keep learning.
So enjoy the gear. Buy the good tools if you can afford them. Build the website. Dress well. Create a great office. Celebrate the title you worked hard to earn.
Then keep practicing. Stay teachable. Let somebody correct you. Pay attention to the parts of your leadership that still need work.
And every once in a while, take an honest look at the backpack. Make sure the gear is serving your game rather than convincing you that you have already mastered it.
One of the best safeguards I know against ego is being in a room with other strong leaders who are willing to tell you the truth.
That’s one of the reasons I believe so deeply in faith-based peer advisory teams like Convene. In the right room, the title matters less. The office doesn’t matter. The car doesn’t matter. The gear is mostly irrelevant.
What matters is whether you are willing to be honest about where you are, listen when someone challenges you, learn from people who see things differently, and keep growing into the leader God has called you to be.
That kind of room has a way of keeping the game in front of the gear.
If that sounds like a room you need, please reach out. I would love to share more.
Blessings to you, my friends!
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This Week’s Resource Recommendation:
"Ego is the Enemy"
- Ryan Holiday
From Amazon: Many of us insist the main impediment to a full, successful life is the outside world. In fact, the most common enemy lies within: our ego. Early in our careers, it impedes learning and the cultivation of talent. With success, it can blind us to our faults and sow future problems. In failure, it magnifies each blow and makes recovery more difficult. At every stage, ego holds us back.
Ego Is the Enemy draws on a vast array of stories and examples, from literature to philosophy to history. We meet fascinating figures such as George Marshall, Jackie Robinson, Katharine Graham, Bill Belichick, and Eleanor Roosevelt, who all reached the highest levels of power and success by conquering their own egos. Their strategies and tactics can be ours as well.
In an era that glorifies social media, reality TV, and other forms of shameless self-promotion, the battle against ego must be fought on many fronts. Armed with the lessons in this book, as Holiday writes, “you will be less invested in the story you tell about your own specialness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you’ve set out to achieve.”
MMS 26-36
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